Funny, I don’t remember the “What to Expect” books ever telling me that my kid could get a disease that also sickens “cloven-hoofed animals”.
Foot-and-mouth disease or hoof-and-mouth disease (Aphtae epizooticae) is an infectious and sometimes fatal viral disease that affects cloven-hoofed animals, including domestic and wild bovids.
My favorite part are the symptoms:
The virus causes a high fever for two or three days, followed by blisters inside the mouth and on the feet that may rupture and cause lameness.
You’re right WebMD- that virus is pretty fucking lame.
For the record, my kids don’t have foot and mouth- they’ve already had it. But a kid at my 3 year old’s preschool has it now and it reminded me that all the books I read about preparing me for motherhood never mentioned that childhood bugger.
Also today, we had ANOTHER incident at the pediatricians office during the 2 year old wellness appointment (aka vaccine shots from hell day) for my Sam. And the animal lived up to his reputation. From the moment we were called back to the exam room, he spent the entire time throwing a massive tantrum. Think text book 2 year old tantrum, but on steroids— arms flailing, sobbing, screaming, hitting and biting. That’s my boy, go big or go home.
Once the doctor got in there (yes the same one as this incident here) - it went from bad to worse. I think Sam hates her, or perhaps everything she stands for. And you know what, I think she blames me. Case in point, WHAT she said to me after the appointment ended. The good doctor found me in the hallway, put her hand on my shoulder and then said, “If you ever need someone to talk to, talk you through this (gives a smile toward Sam), or just someone to listen, give me a call, I’m here for you.”
Are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like I can’t handle my own child? Bitch please, don’t make me go PA on your ass.
Okay, that was a scene I acted out in my head on the drive home. I just looked at her stunned, forced a smile, said thank you, and then I immediately left the building with my sobbing 2 year old. Also for the record, I’m starting to hate doctor offices too.