It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m on kid patrol. It’s cool, I love my boys and I adore spending time with them one on one. We have been having fun today, you know, playing trains, cars, legos and watching “Monsters Inc” for the millionth fucking time.
Oh, what’s that? Where is MeHubs? Good question, thanks for asking.
MeHubs is in Ojai for the next 10 hours. He’s hanging with adults, playing drums with his country punk band at a benefit show at the Ojai Bowl. There’s also a MAJOR rockstar playing a surprise set at that show. Bitter? Perhaps… but more like I’m thoroughly annoyed.
Why, you ask? Another good question, let me explain in three bullet points:
1) Lack of notice, so I can’t attend
Thursday night he informs me of the Saturday show, but it’s not just any show. It’s all day affair in a lovely Southern California town that is nearly a two hours drive from our home. He knows we are trying to save money and I wouldn’t want to pay our Nanny another 10-12 hour day. Fuck that, I did call and ask her to see if she was available today, her day off. She was busy. We played MeHubs, well played.
2) He’s likes to play the Martyr
I found out yesterday morning (when I woke up) that MeHubs gave the nanny the day off. Of course I asked why, he looked shocked and said that he wanted to watch the kids all day. Okay good people, don’t fall for his daddy charm. This is complete bullshit. While he loves his children, worships them even, there is one reason why he did this. MeHubs wanted to be able to say this to me today if I protested at all: ”I watched the kids all day yesterday, so suck it.”
3) Helping around the house helps ease the guilt
I was actually able to sleep in this morning because Mehubs took the kids to the park for a few hours. Sweet right? Not really. He also did a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor and gave our two year old a bath before he left. Impressive, right? Not really. It’s all part of a calculated plan— one that he executes flawlessly on days like today. It’s his way to let me know that he participated in the parenting and managing of our household even though he’s going to be gone all fucking day on my only day to get things done.
Unfortunately, this type of thing happens quite often when you are married to a musician. However, I will let this one go. I will let him enjoy his day without annoying, guilt-laden texts or phone calls. How mature, right? Hell no.
I’m adding it to the kitty. What’s that… the kitty? Why, you all are full of great questions today.
You see, in less than two weeks I’m going on a vacation to an exotic local with my best friends from Seattle. Just me and my friends— no kids and no husband. I will be cashing in on 5, no make that 8 years of suffering for MeHubs art.
Paybacks are bitch.